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22 见“Teen Attitudes about Marriage and Family,”in Wilcox,The State of Our Unions,113。然而,令人意外的是,在经过多年之后,认为婚前同居是“好主意”的青少年人数开始下降。报告总结认为,“男孩和女孩都比过去更接受婚姻之外的生活方式,尤其是未婚生子,尽管最近的数据表明,接受未婚同居的人数出现了令人意外的下降。”(112页)
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23 John Witte,Jr.,From Sacrament to Contract
:Marriage,Religion,and Law in the Western Tradition(Louisville
:John Knox Press,1997),209.
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24 见其文章“God’s Joust,God’s Justice
:An Illustration from the History of Marriage Law,”inChristian Perspectives on Legal Thought,ed.M.McConnell(New Haven
:Yale University Press,2001),406ff。
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25 参见W.Bradford Wilcox,Why Marriage Matters
:Twentysix Conclusions from the Social Sciences,3rd ed.(Institute for American Values,2011)。本书的一个结论是:“婚姻可以促进男性文明,让他们的注意力离开危险、反社会、自我中心的活动,转向家庭的需要。婚姻在这方面发挥着特别重要的作用。”可见www.americanvalues.org/html/r-wmm.html。
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26 New York Times(December 31,2010),可见www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html。
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27 Popenoe and Whitehead,The State of Our Unions.可见www.virginia.edu/marriageproject/pdfs/SOOU2002.pdf。
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28 Sternburgh,“A Brutally Candid Oral History.”
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29 Sternburgh,“A Brutally Candid Oral History.”,13。
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30 Sternburgh,“A Brutally Candid Oral History.”,15。
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31 Sternburgh,“A Brutally Candid Oral History.”,17。
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32 Sternburgh,“A Brutally Candid Oral History.”,17。
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33 Sara Lipton,“Those Manly Men of Yore,”New York Times(June 17,2011).
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34 Popenoe and Whitehead,The State of Our Unions,14.可见www.virginia.edu/marriageproject/pdfs/SOOU2004.pdf。
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35 Popenoe and Whitehead,The State of Our Unions,14.可见www.virginia.edu/marriageproject/pdfs/SOOU2004.pdf。
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37 Haven in a Heartless World
:The Family Besieged(New York,Basic Books,1977).Lasch最早把传统婚姻观(认为婚姻是塑造品格和人类群体的途径)与“医治式”婚姻观(认为婚姻是自治个体满足个人需要的途径)加以对比。
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38 Tierney,“Picky,Picky,Picky.”
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40 Stanley Hauerwas,“Sex and Politics
:Bertrand Russell and‘Human Sexuality,’”Christian Century(April 19,1978),417 422.可见www.religion-online.org/showarticle.asp?title=1797。
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41 拉丁文,意思是“朝内弯曲,朝向自己”,马丁·路德用这个词描述人罪恶的本性。在马丁·路德的《罗马书注释》里,他多次用这个词来描述原罪和人类普遍的罪性。关于“自私是婚姻的重要问题”,参考本书第2章,“婚姻的力量”。
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42 Love in the Western World(New York
:Harper and Row,1956),300.引自Diogenes Allen,Love
:Christian Romance,Marriage,Friendship(Eugene,OR,Wipf and Stock,2006),96。
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43 Ernest Becker,The Denial of Death(New York
:Free Press,1973),160.
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44 Ernest Becker,The Denial of Death(New York
:Free Press,1973),167页。在《诸神的面具》(Counterfeit Gods,Dutton,2009)中,我用Becker的理论来解读圣经里雅各、拉结和利亚的故事。参考该书第2章,“光有爱是不够的”。
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45 这本书里,类似这对已婚夫妇的例子还有很多,这些例子都来自于我私人交往的经验,而非我在教会中对会众的牧养和辅导。
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46 例如,见Sharon Jayson,“Many Say Marriage is Becoming Obsolete,”USA Today(November 11,2010)。
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