1705052858
1705052859
笔者:The Chinese text seems to be vague and implicit; the literal version done by my student goes like this: “At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming.” Could you understand and accept this literal version?
1705052860
1705052861
Bill: The literal version is ok. But I would make a few changes: “At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment. Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.”
1705052862
1705052863
由于添加了without any concern for the passing days and years,云飞雾散,朦胧顿消!
1705052864
1705052865
二十岁的时候,我想出名要趁早,一个人到了三十岁还籍籍无名那还活个什么劲儿呀?三十岁之后,名是不指望了,只希望在四十岁的时候能像我老板一样有钱。
1705052866
1705052867
【原译】At the age of twenty, I said, to gain fame, the earlier the better. How dull it should be one is still unknown in her thirties! In my thirties, reputation is no longer my desire. I only have a wish to be as rich as my boss in my forties.
1705052868
1705052869
【改译】At the age of twenty, it’s better to be famous before it’s too late, I believed. What would be the spice of life for a person deserted by fame when approaching thirty? After thirty, fame seems still beyond reach, yet being as rich as my boss at forty becomes my new dream.
1705052870
1705052871
英语既然是重分析的语言,其语法必有其特色。语言学家王力先生曾断言:西洋语法是硬的,没有弹性;中国语法是软的,富有弹性。中国语法以达意为主。所谓“硬”、所谓“没有弹性”,一个重要的标志是:英语是形合(Hypotaxis)语言,在句子的各成分之间必须用形形色色的含逻辑关系的Connectives将其串联起来。而汉语的所谓“软”和“弹性”,就是无须Connectives的串联,而其内部的逻辑关系自明。故汉语又被称为意合(Parataxis)语言。比如朱自清在他的短文《匆匆》中写道:
1705052872
1705052873
燕子去了,有再来的时候;杨柳枯了,有再青的时候;桃花谢了,有再开的时候。但是,聪明的,你告诉我,我们的日子为什么一去不复返呢?其相应的英译是:
1705052874
1705052875
Swallows may have gone, but there is a time of return; willow trees may have died back, but there is a time of regreening; peach blossoms may have fallen, but they will bloom again. Now, you the wise, tell me, why should our days leave us, never to return?
1705052876
1705052877
英译出现了三个but,这三个but在native speakers的心目中是非加不可的。不加,即非正宗英语。让我们回过头再读朱自清原句。假设,将三个“但是”硬性插入,那将是何种滋味?
1705052878
1705052879
英译中的黑体字即Connectives,它们的出现,顿令译文生色。
1705052880
1705052881
另,《一个女人是这样衰老的》全文在频做20岁与30岁的对比,根据英语表达习惯,两项对比间,应用连词while,如At the age of twenty…, while at thirty…。但是,Bill教授对此有不同意见:
1705052882
1705052883
The balance and parallelism is so strong in these statements, I think you could omit the WHILE. However, in the first set, I would probably repeat the phrase AT THE AGE OF THIRTY. Thereafter, even that could be dropped, keeping only AT THIRTY.
1705052884
1705052885
可见,语言有规律可循,但并不存在万能的规律。
1705052886
1705052887
二十岁的时候,挤在人头攒动的公共大巴上,吃着甜筒,挺开心。三十岁之后,看见破旧肮脏的的士都心烦,拜托!油价一跌,就去买车吧,一路开往小康。
1705052888
1705052889
【原译】At the age of twenty, I felt happy squeezed in a crammed bus eating an ice-cream. After I have turned thirty, I hate to look at the dirty, worn-out taxis. Thank goddess! Once the oil price declines, I’ll buy a car to myself and drive all the way to a comfortable life.
1705052890
1705052891
【改译】At the age of twenty, I felt so contented sandwiched in a jammed bus, eating ice cream. After thirty, even the sight of a shabby and sordid taxi may sicken me. Ok! When the oil price goes down, I’ll buy a car and drive along the road of Well-To-Do.
1705052892
1705052893
英语的非人称主语句具有极高的审美价值。由于历史和文化的原因,汉语大量使用无主语句,而少用非人称主语句,不能不说这是汉语的一个遗憾。这种句式令表达简洁自如、形象生动、变化灵活。“看见破旧肮脏的的士都心烦”一句的主语是“我”,汉语常将其省略。而英语却别出心裁以the sight of a shabby and sordid taxi为主语,自然轻巧地带出谓语宾语(may sicken me)。I hate to look at the dirty, worn-out taxis则显得呆板有余,灵巧不足。
1705052894
1705052895
另外,后译中没有使用squeezed,而是使用了sandwiched,词的转义增加行文的辞采,又多一例。
1705052896
1705052897
二十岁的时候,打赌说我这辈子不可能土到死守在一个地方,生活在别处嘛。三十岁之后,我为了在这座城市买个满意又便宜的房子跑断了双腿。
1705052898
1705052899
【原译】At the age of twenty, I bet there was a fat chance that I should rustically live my lifetime in one place. As the saying goes, a beautiful life occurs elsewhere. In my thirties, I spare no strength running for a decent and inexpensive house in the local city.
1705052900
1705052901
【改译】At the age of twenty, I bet that I would never reside in one city the rest of my life. I’d choose to live in different places. After thirty, I run off my legs for searching an apartment, satisfying and cheap.
1705052902
1705052903
在内容和形式的问题上,Nida在20世纪80年代的论点有所发展。在1986年出版的Form One Language to Another(《从一种语言到另一种语言》)一书中,他改变了过去那种“保留内容,改变形式”的提法,而提出了内容和形式兼顾的论点。他认为,功能对等(functional equivalence)的翻译要求“不但是信息内容的对等,而且尽可能地要求形式的对等”(not only the equivalent content of message, but, in so far as possible, an equivalence of the form)。
1705052904
1705052905
为什么Nida把形式的对等提到重要的位置呢?这是因为世界各国的语言,虽然千差万别,但是,各种语言之间存在着某些语言的共性。因而,在语言形式上(在词汇构成、句法结构、表达方式等各方面)也存在着很多相似之处。所以在一定条件下,译文和原文在内容和形式上都一致,并不是不可能的。在这种情况下,就应该尽量保持一致,决不能任意改变形式。
1705052906
1705052907
Nida的这一论点与近代多数翻译家同意的一条原则:Translate literally, if possible, or, appeal to free translation.(陆殿扬译为:如果可能,就直译;否则就采取意译。)Nida的提法更具体,更明确,因而,更具有指导意义。
[
上一页 ]
[ :1.705052858e+09 ]
[
下一页 ]