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其次，译文2将“武陵人捕鱼为业”译成there was a man of Wuling who was a fisherman by trade。差矣！晋及晋之前的中国社会，还是单一的小农经济社会，“为业”中之“业”尚不能理解为“行业”，或是“职业”。故不宜作表层转换，将之译成by trade。译文1之译（who made his living as a fisherman）更可取。
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再次，“桃花林”三字，分别被译成a grove of blossoming peach trees和forest of peach trees。后译不如前译，“花”（blossom）应在译文中出现，此“花”与下文的“落英缤纷”，构成呼应之美。
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改译为（汉语原文出现的朝代似应加注具体年份，以便母语为非汉语的读者理解，但其年份不宜加于译文中，因其非原文所含之信息。）：
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During the Taiyuan era[1] of the Jin Dynasty[2] there was a man of Wuling who made his living as a fisherman. One day he was fishing up a stream in his boat, heedless of how far he had gone, when he came upon a forest of peach trees in blossom.
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Translator’s notes: [1]376-396; [2]265-420.
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2．夹岸数百步，中无杂树，芳草鲜美，落英缤纷。
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译文1. It lined both banks for several hundred paces and included not a single other kind of tree. Petals of the dazzling and fragrant blossoms were falling everywhere in profusion.
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译文2. On either bank for several hundred yards there were no other kinds of trees. The fragrant grass was beautiful to look at, all patterned with fallen blossoms.
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原句很美，“芳草鲜美”和“落英缤纷”已成汉语成语。
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咀嚼之下，上译回避了“芳草鲜美”，下译未能译出“落英缤纷”之“落”（falling, 而非单纯的fallen），若能跳出表层转换，“芳草鲜美，落英缤纷”或许能重组如下：
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Petals of the dazzling blossoms were falling upon the exquisite carpet of lush grass.
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英语常使用名词carpet的转义，透出了形象美，如：
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ground carpeted with fallen leaves覆盖着落叶的地面。
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The valley is carpeted with cherry blossoms．山谷中樱花一片。
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改译：
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On either bank for several hundred yards there were no other kinds of trees. Petals of the dazzling blossoms were falling upon the exquisite carpet of lush grass.
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3．渔人甚异之。复前行，欲穷其林。林尽水源，便得一山。山有小口，仿佛若有光；便舍船，从口入。
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译文1. Thinking this place highly unusual, the fisherman advanced once again in wanting to see how far it went. The peach trees stopped at the stream’s source, where the fisherman came to a mountain with a small opening through which it seemed he could see light. Leaving his boat, he entered the opening.
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译文2. The fisherman was extremely surprised and went on further, determined to get to the end of this wood. He found at the end of the wood the source of the stream and the foot of a cliff, where there was a small cave in which there seemed to be a faint light. He left his boat and went in through the mouth of the cave.
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“林尽水源，便得一山。 山有小口，仿佛若有光”译文1和译文2不约而同地合并译成绵长一句。译者得英句之美也。若是“依样画葫芦”，英译成两句，何美之有？
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值得注意的是，英语句美，还美在非人称主语句（impersonal subject sentences）。在汉译英的过程中，思维被表层转换所茧服，很少会想到使用非人称主语句。译文1句式绵长，且用了非人称主语句The peach trees stopped at the stream’s source。因为the peach trees作为主语，此句与上句便构成了更紧密联系，语流更畅，语义更顺。而且，非人称主语句的主句以the stream’s source结束，后面就能更自然地挂上一个where引导的定语从句，定语从句中又挂上一个定语从句，就构成了“盘根错节、欲止还言”的绵长尾重句型。
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“便得一山”和“山有小口”，皆有一“山”，译文1将之译成mountain，此乃典型之表层转换也，译文2译之为cliff，行文突兀矣！cliff者，a high, steep, or overhanging face of rock（悬崖，峭壁，岩石高耸的、陡峭的或悬垂的一面）也。此山，是否可译成hill？译者选用cave来翻译“小口”，合情合理，跟下句的“复行数十步，豁然开朗”更构成顺理成章的“地理”关系。
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英语的分词短语作状语的句式，就文体而言，比连用两个动词的句式更文气，更典雅，故译文1的Leaving his boat, he entered the opening更美。
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改译：
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Surprised at what came into his eyes, the fisherman advanced further, in the hope of discovering how far the woods extended. It ended at the stream’s source, where stood a hill. A small cave cut into the hill and a faint light can be seen from within. Leaving his boat, he entered the cave.
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