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4．初极狭，才通人。复行数十步，豁然开朗。土地平旷，屋舍俨然，有良田美池桑竹之属。
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译文1. At first it was so narrow that he could barely pass, but after advancing a short distance it suddenly opened up to reveal a broad, flat area with imposing houses, good fields, beautiful ponds, mulberry trees, bamboo, and the like.
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译文2. At first it was very narrow, only wide enough for a man, but after forty or fifty yards he suddenly found himself in the open. The place he had come to was level and spacious. There were houses and cottages arranged in a planned order; there were fine fields and beautiful pools; there were mulberry trees, bamboo groves, and many other kinds of trees as well.
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1705053446
从表层看，译文1很美，一句呵成也。就深层考虑，译文之美，还不能忘记反映原文固有的神韵及瑰玮。如“初极狭，才通人；复行数十步，豁然开朗”，值得反复诵读，再三玩味。它是一个相对完整的大意群，若出声朗读，其“制高点”，当在“豁然开朗”。英译就应考虑保留此种美。因此，译文2似更多地挽留了这种美，尤其是句子以in the open嘎然收尾，却韵味袅袅，与原句有异曲同工之美。
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遗憾的是，译文2接下去用了两句，未能继续挽留原句的畅洁。是否能借用英语的parallelism，构成一个尾重结构呢？
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1705053450
改译：
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1705053452
At first it was very narrow. There was only room for one man to pass, but after forty or fifty yards he suddenly found himself in the open air．The air. The place he had come to was a wide expanse of level fields, with houses and cottages neatly arranged, surrounded by fine paddies, lovely ponds, mulberry trees, groves of bamboo, and the like.
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5．阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻。其中往来种作，男女衣着，悉如外人；黄发垂髫，并怡然自乐。
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译文1. The fisherman saw paths extending among the fields in all directions, and could hear the sounds of chickens and dogs. Men and women working in the fields all wore clothing that looked like that of foreign lands. The elderly and children all seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves.
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译文2. There were raised pathways round the fields; and he heard the fowls crowing and dogs barking. Going to and fro in all this, and busied in working and planting, were people, both men and women. Their dress was not unlike that of people outside, and all of them, whether old people with white hair or children with their hair tied in a knot, were happy and content with themselves.
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究竟如何理解“男女衣着，悉如外人”？上述两译的意思居然截然相反！译文1为Men and women … all wore clothing that looked like that of foreign lands，其理解为“男女衣着奇特，非同世人”；译文2为Their dress was not unlike that of people outside，其理解则为“男女衣着皆与世人无异”。 《桃花源记》乃《桃花源诗》之“序言”，根据后者出现的两句诗“俎豆独古法，衣裳无新制”，译文1的理解是正确的，译文2为误解。
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此外，英语之句型美之一——非人称主语句。汉语偏少此种句型，但是，明眼人能领悟。汉语虽然少非人称主语句，但是这并不影响汉语行文的简明和雅洁，因为，汉语多主语省略句。国人主体性思维方式如此根深蒂固，已经到了“不言自明”的地步。如：
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《红楼梦》第二十一回中袭人说过这样一句话：
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一百年还记着呢！比不得你，拿着我的话当耳旁风，夜里说了，早起就忘了。
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袭人的这句话，我们读来一目了然。虽然其中省略了几个主语，可是，我们却心领神会。如：
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（我过）一百年还记着呢！比不得你，拿着我的话当耳旁风，（我）夜里说了，（你）早起就忘了。
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上句虽然省略了“主语”，读者同样心领神会：（渔人见）阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻。其中（村民）往来种作，男女衣着，悉如外人。
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而值得注意的是，译文1和译文2皆将上句译成了人称主语句：
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(1) The fisherman saw… and could hear…
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1705053478
(2) and he heard…
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“阡陌交通，鸡犬相闻”，是否可以另辟蹊径，译成非人称主语句，译成被动句式呢？如译：
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Under his feet country paths crisscrossed, and crowing of roosters and barking of dogs could be heard around.
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1705053484
“黄发垂髫，并怡然自乐”一句，译文2将之译成and all of them, whether old people with white hair or children with their hair tied in a knot, were happy and content with themselves。译笔不可谓不细腻矣。从“黄发”到“垂髫，一一译出——with white hair; hair tied in a knot。其实，如此译文吃力不讨好。何谓“黄发”？《高级汉语大词典》解释为：“黄发指老人。老人发白，白久则黄。”何谓“垂髫”？《高级汉语大词典》解释为：“古时儿童不束发，头发下垂，因以‘垂髫’指儿童。”
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由此可见，死抠字眼的翻译，并不可取。将“黄发”到“垂髫”，译成white hair和hair tied in a knot，仅仅是一种机械的表层转换。翻译美学告诉我们，译得模糊一点，也许更接近原文，也许更美。译文1可资参考。
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改译：
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