打字猴:1.705052365e+09
1705052365
1705052366 语言的非表象美学要素与语言形式一般没有直接关系,通常为不可计数的,非直观可感,人们常称其为“非定量因素”。如文章的思想、观点、意境、神韵、气势、风格、情态、韵味等等。这些要素对一篇文章的审美价值来说举足轻重,至关重要。虽然它们是非物质的、非直观的、非一目了然的,但是,它们又在召唤结构中露出蛛丝马迹,让读者感知,让读者品味。
1705052367
1705052368 “秀外慧中”常用于写人,其实不妨借来写美学的表象要素及美学的非表象要素。评价一篇文章或一部作品,“秀外”者,即表象要素,“慧中”者,即非表象要素也。
1705052369
1705052370 上段文字有两句属于“慧中”之表达。
1705052371
1705052372 写Gregor的一句Gregor even had the presence of mind, afterward, to go around to the local police and explain why he had been speeding and careening through stop signs中even had the presence of mind…刻画Gregor,简直是入木三分。原译将上句译成“事后,他还记得向警察解释当时超速闯红灯一事”,不得原文之非表象美也。
1705052373
1705052374 另有一句写Lisa: “It seems incredible,” Lisa innocently told her husband, “that here she’s nearly thirty and apparently has never been stung before, so nobody knew she would react this way. As a child I was always getting stung, weren’t you?“副词innocently,作者一笔带过,不很用心,其实,乃文思纵横之笔。此副词,表面述事,实则写人。其丈夫和Veronica有染,Lisa全然不知。一个innocently巧妙地向读者暗递了此信息。同时,Lisa的个性也一笔带出。原译者译“纯洁的莉莎”是硬搬了词典的释义,未识破innocently之非表象美。
1705052375
1705052376 【改译】维罗妮卡·霍斯特被蜜蜂螫了一下,这本只该给她造成片刻的烦恼和疼痛而已,在29岁这个年龄,维罗妮卡显然正处健康的巅峰阶段,不料,她却易患过敏性休克,这一螫险些要了她的命。幸好,丈夫格雷戈尔在她身边,他赶紧把不省人事、气息奄奄的维罗妮卡抱上他们的车,风驰电掣、横冲直撞地穿过镇中心,将她送入医院救治脱险。莱斯·米勒是从妻子莉莎那里听说此事的。当时莉莎刚刚打完一场网球回来,当然球场上少不了一席东家长西家短的闲话,但见她娇喘吁吁,却容光焕发。听闻此事,莱斯被妒忌心所螫:上个夏天,莱斯和维罗妮卡·霍斯特曾有过一段情。藉爱之名,在维罗妮卡身边演绎英雄救美的,理应是他呀。事后,格雷戈尔居然还有心情跑了一趟警察局,解释他为何置停车信号于不顾而飞车过街。“这好像挺不可思议的,”不知隐情的莉莎跟丈夫说,“维罗妮卡都快三十了,明摆着,以前从来没被螫过,所以谁都不会料到她的反应会如此强烈。我小时候经常被螫,你不是吗?”
1705052377
1705052378 “I think Veronica had a city upbringing,” he said.
1705052379
1705052380 “Still,” Lisa said, hesitant in the face of his ready assertion, “that’s no guarantee. There are parks.”
1705052381
1705052382 【原译】莱斯说:“我想维罗尼卡是在城里长大的。”
1705052383
1705052384 “即便她是在城里长大的,”莉莎回应说,见她丈夫回答得那么有把握,语气有些迟疑,“那也不能保证什么。还有公园呢。”
1705052385
1705052386 格式塔心理学认为,人的心理存在着一种“完形压强”,即当一个不完全的形状呈现于读者眼前时,在人的心理上必然会产生一种内在的紧张力,迫使大脑皮层激烈地活动,极力改变这种形状,使之恢复为完整、和谐的形状,从而达到心理平衡。这种心理倾向,被称为闭合性,它是格式塔心理学的核心内容。格式塔心理学认为,人类创造性的心理机制常常实现于格式塔的这种闭合性之中,而不完满、有空缺正是人们进行心理闭合的重要条件。
1705052387
1705052388 hesitant的遣词,可被视作不完满、有空缺。原译未能成功闭合。所谓“成功闭合”,即在阅读的过程中,进行积极的思维活动,不断地上接下连,左顾右盼,将看似零星的、细琐的、孤立的原始材料连接成一条能在逻辑上自圆其说的情节链、人物链、个性链等等。换言之,即能以其期待视野去驰骋想象,进行再创造,从而能使原来不完满的变得完满,原来有空缺的得以填补,从而最终形成一个完整意象。
1705052389
1705052390 hesitant的原译,未使不完满变得完满,未使空缺得以填补。从Lisa的所言判断,逻辑严密,口吻果决,丝毫不存在原译的所谓“语气有些迟疑”的问题。
1705052391
1705052392 【改译】“就算是在城里长大的,”听了莱斯脱口说出的回应,莉莎犹豫了一下,说道,“那也保证不了她没碰到过蜜蜂啊。城里有公园嘛。”
1705052393
1705052394 Les, picturing Veronica in her house, in her bed, where an elongated pink-tinged pallor had been revealed to him, like a Modigliani or a Fragonard, nestled in rumpled fabric, said, “She’s a pretty indoor kind of person.”
1705052395
1705052396 【原译】莱斯想象着维罗妮卡躺在家中床上的样子,浮现在他脑海中的是一张苍白之中红晕淡染的鹅蛋脸。她倚在凌乱的被子上,像是莫迪里阿尼或弗拉戈纳尔作品中的女子。他说:“她可是足不出户的大家闺秀。”
1705052397
1705052398 “鹅蛋脸”,形象美好,用于此不仅不美,而且不妥。何也?“鹅蛋脸”,多形容健康女性之脸型,而不宜用来形容因病而变得瘦长的脸型。原句中的elongated写的是维罗妮卡大病未愈,形容憔悴。elongated的本义是made longer(变长的)。如何会变长?病之折磨也。
1705052399
1705052400 个人的想象能力、生活经验、审美经验、审美标准甚至道德观念等综合素质,在阅读过程中不断让读者对作品的不确定意义定性,并补充其意义空白。将elongated译成“鹅蛋脸”,生活经验之不足也。
1705052401
1705052402 【改译】莱斯想像着维罗妮卡待在家里、躺在床上的样子,仿佛看见了维罗妮卡那张变得瘦长的脸,苍白中泛着粉色,如同莫迪里阿尼或弗拉戈纳尔画中的女子,卧在一床起了皱的罗衾之中。想着想着,莱斯说道:“她可是个足不出户的淑女。”
1705052403
1705052404 Lisa was not. Tennis, golf, hiking, and skiing kept her freckled the year round. Even her delft-blue irises were dotted, if you looked, with tan specks of melanin. She insisted, “Well, she nearly died,” as if Les had been wandering from the point. His mind had been exploring the abysmal possibility of Veronica’s beauty and high spirits being removed from the world by a chemical mischance. In her moment of need, had her care passed to her lover the previous summer, he might have proved less effective than Gregor, who was small and dark and spoke English if not with an accent with a studied precision, as if locking the sense of his words into an iron case. She found him repellent, Veronica had confessed—his fussiness, his dictatorial streak, the cold assertiveness in his touch—but Les, by breaking off their affair at the end of the summer, had possibly saved her life. In Gregor’s shoes he might have panicked, doubted what was happening, and fatally failed to act. As it was, he saw gallingly, the incident would be rolled into the Horst family annals, as a pivotal and eternally ramifying moment—the time Mommy (and, as she would become, Grammy) was stung by a bee, and funny foreign-born Grampa resourcefully saved her. Les was so jealous that he nearly bent over as if with a stomach cramp. Had he, sweet dreamy Les, been there, instead of scowling, practical-minded Gregor, her emergency would have acquired and forever retained a different poetry, more flattering to her, more congruent with a doomed summer love. For what was more majestically intimate even than sex but death? He imagined her motionless profile, gray with blood loss, cradled in his arms.
1705052405
1705052406 【原译】莉莎不是。网球、高尔夫、徒步旅行、滑雪让她皮肤上常年都是雀斑。仔细看,你会发现连她东方蓝的眼睛上都布满了细小的黑色素斑点。她坚持说:“可是,她差点昏死过去,”好像莱斯忽视了这一点似的。他心里一直在琢磨这次意外事故给维罗妮卡花容和快乐造成的不可估量的损失。在需要呵护的时刻,如果她能像去年夏天那样把呵护她的重任交给情人的他,可能会发现他没有格雷戈尔那么果敢有力,虽然格雷戈尔长得矮小黝黑,还说一口拿腔拿调的英语——如果不算是口音的话,好像话语被牢牢地锁在铁箱子里一样。维罗妮卡承认,她发现格雷戈尔不太招人喜欢,斤斤计较、独断专行、刚愎自用,而莱斯在去年夏末中断了和她的偷情关系,这可能救了她一命。如果他是格雷戈尔,他当时可能会惶惶然,疑虑重重,最要命的是不知该怎么办。让莱斯恼火的是,他发现这件事情毫无疑问会作为一个生死攸关、临危受命的永恒瞬间而载入霍斯特家族史中——那是妈妈(将来还会成为姥姥)被蜜蜂螫伤而那滑稽可笑以及出生国外的爷爷及时挺身相救的时刻。莱斯嫉妒得快直不起腰来,就像腹部绞痛时一样。如果他,笑容可掬、富于幻想的莱斯当时在场,而不是不苟言笑、头脑实际的格雷戈尔,她遭遇的危险可能就被谱写成了一个名垂千古的截然不同的诗篇,更多对她的溢美之词,更加切合他们那段命中注定的夏季恋歌。因为,除了死亡,还有什么比性的亲密更加庄严呢?在他的脑海中,她一动不动,因失血而面色晦暗,静静地依偎在他的臂弯里。
1705052407
1705052408 阅读过程,是一个新信息扑面而来,且不断变成旧信息的过程。理解还包含对新信息的预知和感知,即期待视野。期待视野与头脑中原有的存储(即先结构)汇成两股信息流,两者融合形成一个新的认知结构,即格式塔结构,从而形成对原作的重建。
1705052409
1705052410 接受美学的一位创始人伊瑟尔认为艺术作品会有许多意义不确定性和意义空白,是联络作者创作意识与接受意识的桥梁。接受者在接受过程中要以个人的想象能力、生活经验、审美经验、审美标准和道德观念等综合素质,对作品的不确定意义给以特定的含义,并补充其意义的空白。显然,伊瑟尔关于“未定点”的论述深化了我们对文本性质和解读过程的性质的认识。
1705052411
1705052412 对上段文字的理解,就验证了上述理论。
1705052413
1705052414 abysmal possibility→不可估量的损失。审美经验不足之译!翻译实践提醒我们,接受美学与翻译联姻,尚有一个问题是接受美学没有涉及,或者说,其创始人无法先知的。那就是,读者的接受过程所必需的诸多素质中,还应计入读者的语言素养。对译者而言,即其对SL的熟练程度,此乃审美经验之基础。原译者没有意识到abysmal possibility的审美价值在于Transferred Epithet(移就)辞格的运用,abysmal(本义:无底的;深不可测的),表面上是在修饰名词possibility,而实际上是描写莱斯如何看待维罗妮卡的命运,以及推而广之,莱斯如何审视人的命运。
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