1705052415

1705052416 his fussiness→斤斤计较。联想能力匮乏之译！名词fussiness来自形容词fussy，而fussy的含义甚多，如“爱大惊小怪的，爱紧张的，挑剔的，过于讲究的，为琐事烦恼的”等等。原译选择了“斤斤计较”。显然，译者输在联想能力上。上文曾经写到，格雷戈尔在飞车送夫人去医院的次日，居然专门去警察那里说明无视停车信号的原因。仅此一点，就足以让读者认识格雷戈尔个性的一个侧面。

1705052417

1705052418 the cold assertiveness in his touch→刚愎自用。阅读心理，千人千别。阅读，实际上是对读者的全面测试。从表面看，“刚愎自用”，系“夹生饭”译文。问题好像出在语言层面上，而实质上，这既是一个生活经验的问题，又是一个审美经验的问题。the cold assertiveness in his touch是维罗妮卡对丈夫格雷戈尔的评语。因此，句中touch，理所当然地指丈夫对她的抚摸。这种抚摸，却用cold来形容，一个cold还不够，还用了名词assertiveness，堪称妙绝。何谓assertiveness？其本义是：断定的；斩钉截铁的；过分自信的；武断的。译文“刚愎自用”远离其要。

1705052419

1705052420 funny→滑稽可笑。格式塔心理学强调整体与直接经验，主张一种自上而下，由结构整体到组成部分的认知方法。关于审美体验，这个学派提出了一种独特的学说，即“异质同构”说。人们在阅读时，总会按照一定形式把经验材料组成有意义的整体，这就是所谓“完形组织法则”。此法则又主要包含了图形—背景法则、接近法则、相近法则、闭合法则和连续法则等。假如，原译者能采用“自上而下，由结构整体到组成部分的认知方法”，能进行所谓的“完形组织”，对funny这个形容词加以理解，就不会将它译成“滑稽可笑”，或者译成“有趣的”。因为，上文对格雷戈尔的个性、说话方式，甚至是对妻子的抚摸，均有描述，从这个结构整体来认知这个形容词，我们也许就别有遣词。

1705052421

1705052422 【改译】莉莎可不喜欢待在家里。网球、高尔夫球、远足、滑雪，让莉莎一年四季脸上斑点不断。甚至连她那代尔夫特蓝的眼眸，你要是留意看的话，都布满棕褐色的黑色素斑点。看见莱斯好似有些走神，莉莎强调说：“呃！她差点就没了命哟。”其实，莱斯一直在寻思，维罗妮卡的美貌和神采，竟可能因为一次蜂螫就从这个世界消失。假如上个夏天，维罗妮卡情况危急的时刻，救护她的任务落到情人莱斯肩上的话，莱斯或许还及不上格雷戈尔。格雷戈尔瘦小黝黑，说起话来即便不带口音，也是刻意咬文嚼字，好像要拿铁匣子把自己的意思封装起来一样。维罗妮卡讨厌格雷戈尔。她曾经向莱斯坦言格雷戈尔老是纠缠琐事，有一种专横的神经质，连抚摸都冰冷生硬。然而，莱斯在夏末斩断了两人之间的情丝，这差不多等于救了维罗妮卡一命。如果身处格雷戈尔的位置，莱斯可能恐慌之下，一头雾水，束手无策，致使香消玉殒。事实上，莱斯十分恼火地想到，这个事件看样子要载入霍斯特家族年谱——而成为一个至关重要的、被世代传颂的时刻——妈咪（后来就成了奶奶了）被蜜蜂螫伤时，外国裔的古怪的爷爷机智地救了她的命。想到此，莱斯妒火中烧，像得了胃绞痛似的几乎直不起腰来。如果当时在场的不是愁眉苦脸、头脑实际的格雷戈尔，而是他，多情而又想入非非的莱斯，那么，维罗妮卡的突发事故便会蒙上一层别样的诗意，会更博得她的欢心，与那命中注定的夏日恋情更是锦上添花。因为，除了死亡，还有什么比性爱更令人觉得更凄美、更缠绵呢？他想象着维罗妮卡因失血而显得苍白脸庞，一动不动地紧靠在他的怀里。

1705052423

1705052424 Veronica had a favorite summer dress, with a wide oval neck and half-length sleeves, of orange, orange distributed with a tie-dyed unevenness. It was not a color most women would wear, but it brought out the reckless gleam in her long straight hair and the green of her eyes. Remembering their affair, Les seemed to squint through a wash of this color, though it was no longer summer but September when they parted, the grass in the fields going to seed and the air noisy with cicadas. Veronica’s eyes watered, her lower lip trembled as she listened. He explained that he just couldn’t face leaving Lisa and the kids, who were still almost babies, and unless he could they should break it off while it was still secret, before things got messy, and all their lives lay scattered and ruined. Through her tears Veronica appraised him and determined that indeed he did not love her enough to rescue her from Gregor. He was not free enough, was how he preferred to phrase it. They wept together—his tears made a gleam on the skin of her shoulder within the wide oval of her neckline—and agreed that no one but them would ever know.

1705052425

1705052426 【原译】维罗妮卡有一件夏天衣服很喜欢穿，宽领圈，半长袖子，上面是扎染带来的斑驳的橘黄色。这种颜色只有少数女人喜欢穿，但是维罗妮卡穿上它，长而直的头发显得格外耀眼，绿色眼睛里透着的光显得充满野性。记得他们分手的时候已是不再夏日炎炎的九月，田野里的小草透着那一抹橘黄，莱斯回忆着他们之间的事，他似乎又看到了田野里的野草在结籽，空气里弥漫着蝉鸣，尽管当时他们分手的时候已经是九月，夏天已是不复存在了。维罗妮卡眼睛里噙着泪，下唇颤抖着，一边听着。莱斯解释说他不能抛下丽萨和尚处于襁褓之中的孩子们，趁着他们之间的事别人还不知道，应该把它断了，要是等到事情变得一团糟，各自的生活都被毁了的时候再断可就晚了。泪光盈盈闪闪着，维罗妮卡给莱斯下了一个结论，说他的确不够爱她，否则就不会把她丢在格雷戈尔那儿不管了。他是不够自由——莱斯认为话应该这样讲。两人哭成一团，莱斯的眼泪哗哗地顺着维罗妮卡的皮肤，小溪一般流进了她宽宽的领圈里。最后双方允许相互为彼此保守秘密，绝不将此事泄露出去。

1705052427

1705052428 接受美学认为，任何一个读者，在其阅读任何一部具体的作品之前，都已处在具备一种先在理解结构和先在知识框架的状态，这种先在理解就是文学的期待视野。期待视野是读者理解和阐释作品的立场、观点、方法的前提。没有它，任何作品的阅读都将不可能进行。

1705052429

1705052430 译者究竟如何去理解和阐释原句中的一个形容词reckless——这个人物描写的点睛之笔呢？reckless的本义是indifferent to or disregardful of consequences（不顾后果的；对后果不关心或忽视的）。

1705052431

1705052432 期待视野，可分为两种，一种是读者平时积累的生活经验，一种是读者在阅读过程中积累的文本经验。这两种经验彼此依存，不能截然分开。比如，阅读本篇故事，读者渐渐发现，维罗妮卡，红杏出墙之有夫之妇，非循规蹈矩之辈。另外，就连她的服饰也个性鲜明（It was not a color most women would wear）！据此，原译将reckless译成了“野性”，未尝不可，倒也实现了“自上而下，由结构整体到组成部分的认知方法”。

1705052433

1705052434 然而，如上所述，正如接受美学的创始人没有预料到的，语感，因人而异，阅读能力，也因人而异。尤其是当SL系非母语时，阅读就平添一层困难。比如，原译者虽能正确把握reckless一词，却未能正确把握整句。

1705052435

1705052436 如果SL为非母语，译者在理解方面所遇到的障碍会倍增，从而制约译者两种经验的发挥，因此，常常可以在译文中发现不合情理，抑或语无伦次的现象，也就不足为奇了。比如对though it was no longer summer but September when they parted, the grass in the fields going to seed and the air noisy with cicadas的理解而言，九月虽是初秋，但是，此刻的田野里的草开始结籽，似乎为时过早，而空气里弥漫着蝉鸣，表面上也有点不合时宜。这些精炼的写景，绝非闲笔，而是在影射维罗妮卡和莱斯的关系的嘎然而止的为时过早，或是不合时宜，句中一个连接词——though，就暗示了此种影射。而原译者却未能领会，译笔含混而缺乏逻辑。

1705052437

1705052438 【改译】维罗妮卡有一套心爱的夏装，宽大的椭圆形衣领，半长的袖子，颜色为橙色，是那种扎染的浓淡不均的橙色。大多数女人不穿这种颜色，但是它却凸现了她笔直长发的张扬光泽和她那绿色的眸子。回首他们的那段情，莱斯半眯双眼，眼前似乎出现了一抹橙色，尽管他们分手时早已不是夏天，而是九月，此时田间的萋萋芳草却即将结籽，空气中依然充斥蝉鸣。维罗妮卡一边听着，一边泪湿双眸，下唇颤抖着。莱斯解释说，他实在不忍心离开莉莎和孩子们，孩子们几乎还在襁褓之中呢。除非他能抛妻别子，否则，不如在两人的关系尚不为人知时快刀斩乱麻，免得事情弄糟，落得妻离子散，声败名裂。维罗妮卡泪眼朦胧地审视着莱斯，心里断定莱斯爱她的程度确实还不足以把她从格雷戈尔那里解救出来。身不由己——莱斯选择了这样的话来表述其处境。于是，两人相拥而泣——莱斯的眼泪滴在维罗妮卡椭圆形领口露出的肩膀上，亮晶晶的——随后彼此约定，除了他俩，天下永远无人知晓此事。

1705052439

1705052440 And yet, through the fall and winter and into the next summer, he felt cheated by this secrecy; their affair had been something wonderful he wanted known. He tried to rekindle her attention. She ignored his longing looks, and rebuked his confused attempts to single her out in a crowd. Her green eyes glared, under the frown of her long reddish eyebrows. “Les dear,” she said to him once when he cornered her late at a party, “did you ever hear the expression ‘Shit or get off the pot’?”

1705052441

1705052442 【原译】然而，经过了秋冬两季及来年的夏季，他觉得自己被这个秘密欺骗了。他们之间的事原来是他想公之于众的好事。他想再度引起她的关注，她却不理会他热切的神情，并指责他一次次将她从人群里找出来很不可理喻。她皱着她那长长的略带红色的眉毛，那双绿色的眼睛怒目圆睁。“亲爱的莱斯，”一次当她在聚会上被莱斯挡着去路留到很晚时，她说：“你听说过‘占着茅坑不拉屎’这句话吗？”

1705052443

1705052444 初译者在阅读过程中理应进行“自上而下，由结构整体到组成部分的认知方法”，能完成所谓的“完形组织”，这种心理的演变和发展，有点类似考试中的完形填空（cloze test）。所谓cloze test，即a test of reading comprehension in which the test taker is asked to supply words that have been systematically deleted from a text。若将通俗的格式塔的完形理论用于翻译，对SL中的理解，似乎可以如此改写：The translator is asked to supply the exact and distinctive meaning of expressions that have been fuzzy, or a puzzle in a text．原译者对shit or get off the pot，显然不能supply the exact and distinctive meaning of expressions。维罗妮卡，口出粗话，表现了对莱斯当初主动和她断绝关系，现在又想破镜重圆的做法的不理解及不满。维罗妮卡巧妙地将和她断绝关系比作get off the pot，将纠缠她，比作shit。因此，原译者之译“占着茅坑不拉屎”，就成了不合逻辑的“完形组织”。

1705052445

1705052446 有的将上句译成了“妈的，吃着碗里的看着锅里的”、“有屁就放”、“有话就说，有屁就放”。同样，属于“完形之误”。

1705052447

1705052448 “要么不做，要么做了不后悔”，如此译文，虽然意思上无大出入，但是在语体上舍俗求雅，也当视作“误填”。因为，维罗尼卡的这句粗话，和上面出现的一个形容词（reckless）一脉相承，是她整个个性的合理折射。

1705052449

1705052450 【改译】然而，秋去冬来，盛夏又至，莱斯感觉为所谓守密而被愚弄了，他想两人之间的那段私情真奇妙，他想公诸于众。他试图重燃维罗尼卡心头的爱火。维罗尼卡却对他渴盼的眼神视而不见。意乱情迷的莱斯想在聚会中单独约出维罗妮卡，却被屡遭叱责。维罗尼卡紧锁着的两道淡红色的柳眉下，一双绿眼睛对他怒目而视。“亲爱的莱斯，”一次，派对快结束时，莱斯缠住维罗妮卡，维罗妮卡对他说，“你听说过‘要么就拉屎，要么就别占茅坑’这句话吗？”

1705052451

1705052452 “Well, I have now,” he said, shocked and offended. Lisa would never have said such a thing, any more than she would have worn splashy tie-dyed orange.

1705052453

1705052454 “哦，现在我听说了，”他说道，心里既惊又恼。莉莎可决不会口出此言，就像她决不会穿斑驳的扎染橙色服装一样。

1705052455

1705052456 His concealed affair with Veronica burned within him like an untreated infection, and as the years went by it seemed that Veronica, too, suffered from it; she seemed never to have quite recovered from the bee sting. Weight loss, making her look gaunt and stringy, alternated with periods of puffiness and overweight. There were trips to the local hospital, about which Gregor was adamantly mysterious, and spells when Veronica was hidden within her house, suffering from complaints that her husband, showing up at parties by himself, refused to name. Les, in his inert, romantic way, imagined her, having in a fit of treacherous weakness confessed their affair to Gregor, being held captive by him. Or else regret over losing Les was gnawing at her delicate constitution. Her beauty did not greatly suffer from her frailty, but gained a new dimension from it, a ghostly glow, a poignancy. After years of sunbathing—all women did it back then—Veronica developed photosensitivity, and stayed pale all summer. Her teeth, as her thirties wore on, gave her trouble, and the orthodontics and periodontics specialists she regularly consulted had their offices in the nearby middle-sized city, in a tall building across from the one in which Les worked as an investment counsellor.

1705052457

1705052458 【原译】他和维罗妮卡之间的隐情像感染没有得到医治一样在他的心里熊熊燃烧，而且尽管已是事过多年，维罗妮卡好像也深受此情煎熬，她好像从来没有从被蜜蜂螫伤中完全康复过来。她体重下降了，显得憔悴而骨瘦如柴，间或虚胖和体重超标。她也去过几趟当地医院，对此格雷戈尔神神秘秘的，守口如瓶；也有时候她独守空房，痛苦地抱怨她丈夫独自去参加聚会却不告诉她是些什么聚会。莱斯以他懒散、浪漫的方式，想象着她趁着体弱向格莱戈尔交代了他们之间的隐情，现在正被他软禁着，或者失去莱斯的遗憾正在侵蚀着她娇弱的身体。憔悴没有怎么折损她的美貌，反而为她增添了一份新的姿容，一种幽幽的容光，楚楚可怜。常年的日光浴——那是那时候所有女人寻求自然色的做法——使她变得对光线特别敏感，整个夏季都面色苍白。随着三十多岁的年月渐渐飘逝，她的牙齿开始出现问题，定期为她诊疗牙病的专家的诊所已经搬到附近的一座中等城市去了，在一幢高楼里，从诊所可以看到投资顾问莱斯工作的地方。

1705052459

1705052460 原译者误解了下句：There were trips to the local hospital, about which Gregor was adamantly mysterious, and spells when Veronica was hidden within her house, suffering from complaints that her husband, showing up at parties by himself, refused to name.

1705052461

1705052462 作为一种思维定势，我们误解误译的分析，往往停留在对语法的分析上。诚然，原译者确实没有能够正确分析上句的语法，张冠李戴，逻辑松散。但是，接受美学让我们的注意力转移到译者在阅读SL过程中的心理反应，具体言之，即由于其期待视野而出现的过错。

1705052463

1705052464 在理解过程中，新信息不断出现，且不断变成旧信息。理解还包含对新信息的预知和预感，即期待视野。期待视野与头脑中原有的存储（即先结构）汇成两股信息流，两者融合形成一个新的认知结构，即格式塔结构，从而形成对原作的重建。

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