1705052815
【原译】When in my twenties, I was only willing to date boys from sports or art department. After thirty, I even thought I had been an idiot before.
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【改译】At the age of twenty, I did long to date with boys from either the physical education or the art department. After thirty, it seems so unbelievable that I once idiotically possessed that thought.
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除了不善使用英语词汇的转义之外，对英语词汇构词的灵活性，我们只是局限于学习，至多是欣赏的层次上；在翻译中如何加以活用，我们也考虑较少。比如原句出现了“白痴”二字，译者只是照搬，将它译成idiot。译idiot固无不可，但是，若使用其副词形式（idiotically），岂不更佳？因为，它不仅显现一种暗示美，而且还折射了别样的强调意味。
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二十岁的时候，有书店必逛，有书必买。三十岁之后，对书店视而不见，直接去了隔壁的美容院。
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【原译】At the age of twenty, I frequented the bookstores and bought whatever I found. After thirty, I ignored them and went ahead into the nearby beauty parlor.
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【改译】At the age of twenty, bookstores were a must for me, and I was a big book buyer. While after thirty, paying no attention to the bookstore, I breeze into the beauty parlor next door.
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美学心理学认为，语言表达的精确和模糊既对立，又统一，各有各的审美价值。模糊，与精确一样，透现出一种美。如何通过模糊去获得精确美，是译者不能忘怀的。原句的“有书必买”译成bought whatever I found，似乎很精确，其实无美可言，甚至经不起逻辑的推敲。后改译的“有书店必逛，有书必买”，用了两个“小词”：a must和a big book buyer，既轻巧，又含糊，轻巧中透出幽默，含糊中体现了精确！
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另外值得一提的是，后译运用了动词breeze的转义，不仅动词本身很美，而且和名词beauty parlor构成了和谐美，其效果非went ahead into可比。
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二十岁的时候，老妈打电话，不等说完三句就恨不能挂了电话。三十岁之后，一听到妈的声音就禁不住哭出声来：“妈呀，您老的所有担心现在都应验了……”
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【原译】At the age of twenty, when mother phones me, I am anxious to hang up immediately. After the age of thirty, on hearing mother’s voice on the phone, I cannot help crying out, “Mom, all that you worried about have come true.”
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【改译】At the age of twenty, while talking with my mother over the phone, I wanted to hang up before my mother had finished a few words. After thirty the voice of Mom invariably triggers my crying, “Mom, your worries about my marrige have all come true.”
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东方人和西方人的思想方式有基本分歧。
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思想方式和文化取向必然影响语言。汉语表达的走向也是暗示与含蓄携手，模糊与朦胧拥抱。上段里的“您老的所有担心现在都应验了”就是一例。其中的“担心”指什么？悬念虽在，读者却不觉得解。汉语的模糊含蓄可见一斑。把话说白了，反而不美了。
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可是，英语表达却不然，挖掘需求“尽”，描写需求“周”，或者用杨振宁的话来说，必须“准确而具体”。换言之，“担心”的内容须得有所交代。Mom, all that you worried about have come true的译文令英语的native speakers茫然。为此，笔者曾与美国教授Bill Hofmann有以下email探讨：
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笔者：Bill, the Chinese text does not contain “my marriage”. If in the version I do not add “about my marriage”, could you native speakers understand the implied meaning?
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Bill: Ronggui, I think it is better to retain the marriage reference.
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故译文中应有所增译：Mom, your worries about my marrige have all come true.
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此外，后译使用了一非人称主语句After thirty the voice of Mom invariably triggers my crying，也为译文添色不少。此内容稍后再析。
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二十岁的时候，我直想往前冲，谁也别挡我。三十岁之后，我真想赖着不走啊，又快过年了。
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1705052853
【原译】At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming.
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【改译】At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment. Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.
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原句同样写得非常含蓄，没有末尾的“又快过年了”，上文的寓意有几分模糊，读者可能从字面意义去解读。学生原译文维系了原句的朦胧，英语的native speakers能接受吗？笔者与Bill Hofmann，之间有如下对话：
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笔者：The Chinese text seems to be vague and implicit; the literal version done by my student goes like this: “At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any apprehension. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to the moment: another New Year is looming.” Could you understand and accept this literal version?
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Bill: The literal version is ok. But I would make a few changes: “At the age of twenty, I dashed forward without any concern for the passing days and years. In my thirties, I strive to hang on to every moment. Unfortunately, another New Year looms on the horizon.”
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由于添加了without any concern for the passing days and years，云飞雾散，朦胧顿消！
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