打字猴:1.705053048e+09
1705053048 汉英翻译,对英语重形合,汉语重意合的规律只有朦胧印象或泛泛了解是远不够的。光凭直感使用Connectives,也未必能够简化表达的目的。只有对汉语原句做一番逻辑梳理,并亮出结构性的Connectives,译文才会显示优势。
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1705053050 汉语意合句的内部逻辑关系,字面上“不动声色”,而内涵却丰富精彩。英译时,一不小心,就会滑入照字面直译的歧路,而不善使用形形色色的Connectives,尤其是结构性的Connectives。如:
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1705053052 早知今日,何必当初?(这是隐含条件关系的汉语意合句。英译不可少if。)
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1705053054 If I had known it would come to this, I would have acted differently.
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1705053056 他老是见异思迁。(这是隐含时间关系的汉语意合句。英译不可少the moment。)
1705053057
1705053058 He is always changing his mind the moment he sees something new.
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1705053060 江山易改,本性难移。(这是隐含转折关系的汉语意合句。英译不可少but。)
1705053061
1705053062 It is easy to change rivers and mountains but hard to change a person’s nature.
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1705053064 总之,前途是光明的,道路是曲折的。(这是隐含对比关系的汉语意合句。英译不可少while。)
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1705053066 In a word, while the prospects are bright, the road has twists and turns.
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1705053068 译者缺乏识破汉语原文所隐含的逻辑关系的“火眼金睛”,译文的精神必不能抖擞。如:
1705053069
1705053070 我读到此处,在晶莹的泪光中,又看见那肥胖的,青布棉袍,黑布马褂的背影。唉!我不知何时再能与他相见!
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1705053072 从字面上看,上句没有显露逻辑之痕,但是,译者假如不识其真面目(隐含时间关系的汉语意合句),照字面老老实实地去译,那将获得怎样的译文呢?
1705053073
1705053074 【张译】Through the glistening tears which these words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again!
1705053075
1705053076 “看见那肥胖的,青布棉袍,黑布马褂的背影”应该如何理解?其中隐藏着怎样的逻辑关系?这是一个需要结合上文细加推敲的问题。其逻辑背景是:当父亲离我而去的时候,我看见那肥胖的,青布棉袍,黑布马褂的背影。这个逻辑背景是全文之“眼”!汉语是成熟的语言,“当父亲离我而去的时候”不必明言,此意已经很自然地融入字里行间,读者足以意会。但是,在英译时,译者就必须遵从英语表达习惯,应该化隐为显,变无为有。遗憾的是,张译显然没有注意到这一点,而是作了直译:I again saw the back of father…句中的动宾搭配(saw the back),基本抄袭了汉语原句的动宾结构(看见背影)。
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1705053078 【杨译】When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?
1705053079
1705053080 此译抛弃了原句的动宾结构,而是另立新的动宾搭配:saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket。这样就腾出了使用Connective的空间,译笔多创意!果然,紧接着出现了一个as(这是典型的结构性的Connective),非常清晰和有层次感地传递了“背影”出现的时间。as his burly figure walked away from me 在原句里寻找不到相对应的字眼,却能在上文里寻找到此译的背景。由as引导的从句,贯通了上下文,并成功点题,把父亲的背影给译活了,这比单纯地写I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form更让人喝彩!如果说,译文I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form是死板的、平面的、孤立的,而译文I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me则是鲜活的、立体的、贯通上文的!
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1705053082 英语的形合表达,竟有此妙处!这是我们始料未及的。此外,我们不应忘记,一个as,省略了多少赘词!从张译的43个单词缩减到33个!
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1705053084 我看见他戴着黑布小帽,穿着黑布大马褂,深青色布棉袍,蹒跚地走到铁道边,慢慢探身下去,尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道,要爬上那边月台,就不容易了。
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1705053086 【张译】I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track.
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1705053088 没有比较,就没有鉴别。孤立读此译文,觉得并无明显不妥。意思到位,且文字清通。然而,世间万物,总经不起比较,译文亦不例外。把目光投向杨译时,读者的第一个感觉就是张译的累赘和杨译的明快。此外,令人称奇的是,杨译的as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down和上一句译文中的as his burly figure walked away from me有异曲同工之妙!于是,读者再次慨叹译者不同凡响的hypotaxis consciousness!
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1705053090 【杨译】So I watched him in his black cloth cap and jacket and dark blue cotton-padded gown, as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down—not so difficult after all. But when he had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side.
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1705053092 由于使用了as,父亲的两个动作(waddled to the tracks和climbed slowly down)就比较紧密地联系起来。结构性的Connective的运用能够使译文更趋畅洁,语势如瀑,奔泻酣畅。而这两个动作在张译中的彼此遥隔了23个单词,语势因此而中阻。如:I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track杨译使用了as,形容词短语not so difficult after all即能自然跟出,随后的两个Connectives(but和when)即刻暗示读者:要climbing up也许就不那么容易了。果然,读者读到:(but when) he had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side,承接圆润自如。再读张译:He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track.虽然也使用了but,但是,两个并列句的使用令遣词重复,句式呆板,用力平均,且had little trouble与a lot more difficult之间,呈“遥望”之势。
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1705053094 杨译给我们的启示是,识别汉语原句的隐含的逻辑关系,在英译时,化意合句为形合句,有时就可以甚至必须跳出汉语句式的束缚,让调整过的句式更多体现“接近原则”(the vicinity principle),从而获得译文语势的流畅美。
1705053095
1705053096 这是否可以说是英语形合句的一种优势呢?
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