打字猴:1.70505372e+09
1705053720
1705053721 a. They only have the goal in their eyes, neglecting the scenery on the way. However, the road seems endless and they have no idea of where the end is. Others, like the travelers, walk without haste or worry. They take a break from time to time, appreciating the blossoms and the floating clouds. Although sometimes they also have to walk against the wind or in the rain, their hearts, like a stretched net, let the worries and pains go.
1705053722
1705053723 b. Some walk in such a hurry that they only see destinations before them and ignore the beautiful scenery. However, they do not know where the terminal is on the long long road. Some walk as tourists without any haste. They stop occasionally to appreciate the blooming and withering of flowers, the rolling and extension of clouds. Although there are times of heavy storms, their hearts are always like an open net which lets go distresses.
1705053724
1705053725 c. Different people go along differently. Some take hasty steps in anxiety. Obsessed with reaching the next goal in time, they spare no time for sightseeing along the way, nor do they have a clear view of where their long roads end. Others travel leisurely like tourists. They would take time off now and then for a look at blooming flowers or fallen petals. They would stop to admire clouds gathering and dispersing. Even when they go against the wind or are caught in the rain, they never get annoyed, for worries slip off their minds as from an open net.
1705053726
1705053727 先说“有的人在赶路,心急切切,步急匆匆”一句,从“行路难,但人生之路谁都要走”到“有的人在赶路,心急切切,步急匆匆”,汉语是能够接受的,虽然句意的转折突然了一点。正如我国的语言学家王力教授曾经断言的那样,中国语法是软的,富有弹性。中国语法以达意为主。然而,译a和译b所作的直译,在两句之间没有任何的添加,在英语的native speakers看来,就构成了语篇层面上的欠缺。这是因为“西洋语法是硬的,没有弹性”。
1705053728
1705053729 译c在两句之间添译了Different people go along differently绝非“蛇足”,有效增强了行文的Coherence和Cohesion。
1705053730
1705053731 再说“有的人如游客,不急不慌,走走停停,看花开花落,看云卷云舒”一句。
1705053732
1705053733 a. They take a break from time to time, appreciating the blossoms and the floating clouds. (15 words)
1705053734
1705053735 b. They stop occasionally to appreciate the blooming and withering of flowers, the rolling and extension of clouds. (17 words)
1705053736
1705053737 c. They would take time off now and then for a look at blooming flowers or fallen petals. They would stop to admire clouds gathering and dispersing. (26 words)
1705053738
1705053739 以上三句译文的字数有明显变化:15→17→26。数字是枯燥的,但是,数字的变化再次向我们暗示了译c汉英表达之微妙区别。从“有的人如游客,不急不慌,走走停停,看花开花落,看云卷云舒”可以看出,句子表达非常疏放随意,一个主语(有的人),便带出了一串谓语。译a和译b,就照这个句型直译。使用一个主语,结果就失却了一份行文的悠闲,文意也未能得以充分的演绎。译c将原句作“一切为二”的处置,They would的重复,构成了Parallelism(平行结构)的对称美,这种形式更好地为其内容(从容自在,潇洒不迫的人生态度)服务。就表层看,译c的take time off now and then for a look at似有累赘之嫌,其实,透出了一种丰满美。尤其是now and then三词,更有一种音韵。从美学角度分析,blooming flowers or fallen petals比blooming and withering of flowers更值得品味,因为withering of flowers远没有fallen petals所蕴涵的美感。
1705053740
1705053741 有的人却总是怡然自得,随遇而安。
1705053742
1705053743 a. However, others are always happy with what they have and where they are.
1705053744
1705053745 b. Others, however, can always satisfy themselves with the confined surroundings.
1705053746
1705053747 c. But others are always contented and happy for they can adapt themselves to different circumstances.
1705053748
1705053749 对比三句译文,译a和b给读者一种“夹生饭”的感觉。对原句没有做到“挖掘惟恐不尽,描写惟恐不周”,尤其是对“随遇而安”的翻译过于简单,草草过场,未能译出或准确译出其中的“随遇”二字。
1705053750
1705053751 比海洋大的是天空,比天空大的是心灵,因为这小小的心灵内住着一只时起时落的想象鸟。
1705053752
1705053753 a. The sky is broader than the ocean and the mind is broader than the sky, for inside the small mind stays a bird of imagination that can fly freely.
1705053754
1705053755 b. What is larger than the ocean is the sky; what is larger than the sky is the heart, because in this small heart lives a bird of imagination that flies up and down.
1705053756
1705053757 c. However, though larger than the ocean is the sky, even larger is the human mind, for in it imagination can come and go on the wing without limitation.
1705053758
1705053759 汉语不太讲究行文的逻辑,往往意合即可,读者能够心领神会,不太计较你是否运用了不必要的Connectives来显示内在的逻辑。原句中的“比海洋大的是天空,比天空大的是心灵”就是一个典型的例子。译a和译b均作直译,简单从事,没有运用必要的Connectives来表达这两句之间的逻辑转折关系。添加Connectives,似乎令行文“繁”了些,但是,这是必需的。译b的What is larger than the ocean is the sky; what is larger than the sky is the heart给人一种生硬艰涩的语感。译c以though和even来粘合两句,英语味便浓郁起来。
1705053760
1705053761 译a和译b不谋而合将“想象鸟”译成了a bird of imagination,值得商榷。
1705053762
1705053763 杨振宁教授曾经高屋建瓴地指出,中国的文化是向模糊、朦胧及总体的方向走,而西方是向准确而具体的方向走。他还说过,中文的表达方式不够准确这一点,假如在写法律是一个缺点的话,写诗却是一个优点。
1705053764
1705053765 汉语读者对“这小小的心灵内住着一只时起时落的想象鸟”不会提出异议,而且还能够欣赏作者的用意。因为,在“模糊、朦胧及总体”中,汉语能够成功传递一种信息,给人一种印象,甚至联想。所谓“想象鸟”就是一种写诗的笔调。这对汉语而言,真是一个强项。
1705053766
1705053767 但是,一旦将“想象鸟”直译成a bird of imagination,问题即刻产生。以英语为母语者会寻思:是否真有此鸟?现实生活中没有此鸟,抑或是中国神话传说中有此鸟儿?因为,讲究准确而具体的西方文化细微、精确,着眼微观,注重客观。
1705053768
1705053769 译c将“这小小的心灵内住着一只时起时落的想象鸟”译成in it imagination can come and go on the wing without limitation,似乎是舍简求繁,实际上,译文不仅通过成语on the wing(在飞行中)挽留了“鸟”的形象,而且由于巧妙添加了介词短语without limitation,这就与前面的议论(though larger than the ocean is the sky, even larger is the human mind)呼应并增强了译文的Cohesion和Coherence。
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